Friday, April 06, 2007
back from mexico and acapulco..i'll put up the pics and updates pretty soon.not been in the mood for any damn thing since i got back. it's been a week...and the mood just gets progressively worse especially since 2 nights ago. or was it 3 nights. hmmm. doesnt matter actually. the point is that, after that night, after wat someone said, the words have been playing in front of my eyes and in my head and at the back of my mind practically constantly, for the days after that.
suddenly, i really really really honestly genuinely seriously want bing and sha to be here. bing where are u..............so far away. 15 hours ahead of me. sob. it's friday night and i wanna go out. but since we dont haf a freaking car and the freaking movie we wanted to watch is only showing at some ulu cinema which is freaking inconvenient to get to...... well, i am in my room.
that aside, sian-ness aside, i really want to see bing. and sha. only u guys understand why those words mean so much to me. why they mean so much, so badly. i guess sitting here bawling my eyes out aint gonna help erase what's been said, but i cant help it. salty water just comes out.
i have a bad feeling about this situation, and i'm definitely still sane to know that it's best to snap out of it asap, like seriously, before i get stuck in it.
again.
like last time.
or the last few times rather.
especially last year.
over the same issue.
did he really mean what he said?
did he think twice before saying?
did he think twice after saying?
did he think about what my reaction would be?
did he think about how i feel?
hannah tried to convince me that it's really not as bad as the way i make it out to be. but i really do think that deep down, it is.
it is.
it freaking is.
it freaking darn well is.
it's such a girl thing. get upset and start crying, start sobbing. for what. nobody's going to know. nobody's going to be able to do anything. and worse of all, nothing good is going to come out of crying. so there.
maybe i shd just forfeit my flight from orlando to philadelphia.